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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28614141">codes to a heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealanything/pseuds/etherealanything'>etherealanything</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Un)requited Crushes, F/M, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:21:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28614141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealanything/pseuds/etherealanything</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Things to avoid when creating a phone password:<br/>1. A common set of numbers.<br/>2. Personal information that’s easily searchable.<br/>3. The birthday of the co-worker you’ve been in love with for almost as long as you’ve known him.</p><p>(Penelope has never been one to follow advice.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>124</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>codes to a heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>criminal minds is the property of cbs. i do not pretend to remember anything about early 2010s technology, nor did i bother to research it. unbeta’d- comments and concrit welcome!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penelope’s phone password is Derek’s birthday. She knows that it’s unsafe, is more than happy to lecture the other agents on proper cybersecurity (<em>iLoveHenry is very cute, JJ, but it’s not exactly secure</em>), but she just can’t seem to force herself to change it. Every time she goes to unlock her phone, she smiles, the four numbers a constant reminder of everything that Derek is to her.</p><p>The first time Derek asks what her password is, she panics. She’d been the one to hand him the phone, wanting to show him a picture of a cute dog she’d seen on her way to work that morning. But too much time must have passed since she last tapped the screen, because the next thing she knows he’s waving the black screen in front of her.</p><p>“What’s the code?” he asks, and Penelope freezes, wondering if he’ll recognize it as soon as he hears the numbers, if he’ll understand why. </p><p>“Give it to me,” she says, holding out her hand. In response, Derek holds it above his head, out of her reach. If she didn’t love him so much, Penelope might almost be mad.</p><p>“What are you worried about, babygirl?” His tone is teasing, and Penelope doesn’t want to imagine what his reaction might be if he really knew. “Afraid I’ll find something… incriminating?”</p><p>“Just give it to me, please?” Penelope watches smugly as her puppy dog face wins him over, just as it does every time. She punches in the code, then hands it back to him, panic receding as Derek begins to coo over the photo.</p><p>-</p><p>The two of them are on their way to Rossi’s, and they’re running late. Penelope’s driving, because Derek’s car may have broken down, but she’s damned if she’ll let anyone else drive Esther.</p><p>“Tell Rossi we’ll be there in ten minutes,” she says, not taking her eyes off the road. The others have teased her for being such a cautious driver, but she can’t help it, not when she sees danger around every corner.</p><p>“Okay,” he responds.</p><p>Penelope continues driving. Beside her, she can hear Derek rummaging around, sounding increasingly irritated. When they pull up to a red light, she turns to him. Derek’s searching the footwell, but he looks up immediately, as if he can feel her gaze.</p><p>“I must have left my phone at home,” he says. Derek had called her half an hour ago, asking if she could take him to the party. Penelope had jumped at the opportunity, even though it meant going out of her way.</p><p>“You can use mine. It’s in my bag.” Her purse is in the backseat, slightly out of reach. Derek twists around to reach it, forearm grazing hers. At his touch, Penelope’s insides seem to grow tiny, fluttering wings. She shushes them firmly.</p><p>The light turns green and she presses down on the gas, sending the car into motion once more. A moment later, Derek finally finds her phone. He grabs it triumphantly before sitting back in his seat.</p><p>Penelope is a stickler for the speed limit, which is possibly the only thing that saves the both of them when Derek says: “What’s your code?”</p><p>She jolts, hitting the accelerator a little too hard. Terror rises in her throat as the resulting force presses them against their seats. Penelope makes herself ease onto the brake and take deep breaths until she can feel her heart settling.</p><p>“You okay?” Derek asks when they’ve returned to the previous speed. Penelope nods mutely.</p><p>Her heart starts up again as she remembers what he needs. She could wait for another red light, but they’re in the suburbs now, so stoplights are few and far between. She could pull over, but that seems like a gross overreaction. Penelope is a fully-grown woman. She refuses to be humbled by a crush, even if it is a crush on the best man she’s ever known.</p><p>Penelope gives him the passcode a single digit at a time. She’s almost sure he’ll know by the end, every moment taking her close to the point of no return. As she says the last number, Penelope braces for impact, not knowing what awaits her on the other side.</p><p>In the end, Derek says nothing, and she’s too scared to ask if he missed it or if he’s just trying to let her down easy.</p><p>-</p><p>Spencer, on the other hand, definitely takes notice. They’re in the bullpen, Spencer sitting on his desk while Penelope spins absentmindedly in his chair. He watches over his shoulder as she unlocks her phone, eyes narrowing in thought. She’s just tapped the final number when he opens his mouth:</p><p>“Isn’t that Mor–” Penelope claps a hand over his mouth to keep him from revealing her secret to the entire bullpen. <em> Damn his stupidly perceptive brain </em>. </p><p>He’s still speaking, words muffled by her hand. Before Emily, JJ, or, god forbid, Derek can notice, Penelope takes her hand away, shooting him a warning glare. Wisely, he shuts up, at least until they’re both alone.</p><p>When the whole team breaks for lunch, Penelope drags Spencer into the nearest storage closet, ignoring his protestations.</p><p>“I love you dearly,” she whispers. “But if you say anything about this…” </p><p>It’s not really a threat so much as it is a plea. If Spencer says anything, she’ll lose whatever dignity she still has. Penelope isn’t stupid: she’s heard what the office gossip mill has to to say about her and Derek. She’s pretty sure there’s even a pool on if and when they’ll get together. </p><p>If this gets out, people with much less intelligence than Spencer will be able to figure out this attraction is unrequited. Her friendship with Derek, once sweet, will become pathetic. She doesn’t even allow herself to think about what Derek would say.</p><p>Spencer holds his hands up in surrender. “Your secret is safe with me.”</p><p>The fact that she didn’t even have to explain why it matters to her is one of the many, many reasons she adores Spencer Reid. As long as she cares, he cares.</p><p>On his way out of the closet, Spencer turns back to her. “He loves you, you know that?”</p><p>Of course she does. But, despite the strength of Derek’s love, he doesn’t love her the way she does, deeply and recklessly and without regard for the safety of her soul’s inner reaches.</p><p>-</p><p>It’s Penelope’s birthday, and the team has thrown her a party in the conference room. As the birthday girl, she isn’t supposed to lift a single finger, so Penelope sits in the chair of honor while the others cater to her every whim.</p><p>Earlier, JJ had slid a plastic tiara into her hair, telling Penelope she was queen for the day. Penelope couldn’t resist beaming at that, an extra bounce enfusing her step. She thinks she might make wearing one a regular habit.</p><p>Penelope’s chair, positioned as centrally as it can be, given the circular table, is decorated with a multitude of sparkly ribbons. Spencer is sitting to one side of her, but today Penelope only has eyes for Derek, who sits on her other side.</p><p>It’s magnetic, the way he moves. As she watches, Derek laughs at something Emily says, eyes crinkling and head tilting up to expose the long column of his neck. At this rate, Penelope is going to drop dead before it’s time to eat cake.</p><p>She makes it to the cake phase of the party, though not without a great deal of effort. Derek, for his part, is determined to make it as difficult as possible. As JJ brings the cake out, he rests his hand on her arm. It’s the kind of casual touch they do all the time, but today it feels like a brush of fire.</p><p>The team sings to her, voices clashing as they try to harmonize in six different keys. When they’re done, she blows out her candle, making the same wish she always does. <em> Let the people I love stay safe </em>. </p><p>She looks at Derek when she’s finished, and there’s something in his gaze that makes her unable to look away. His eyes are full of love, the kind she wants to last forever. When he turns away to say something to Hotch, she makes a second, selfish wish. <em> Let him love me the way I do. </em></p><p>-</p><p>The party has mostly finished by now. Emily’s begrudgingly peeling streamers down from the ceiling, having been informed by Hotch that they constitute a serious fire hazard. Derek and Penelope are standing in the corner, reluctant to return to work.</p><p>Emily exits the room, and Penelope knows they should too. The crimes don’t stop when they take a break, no matter how much she wishes they did. Penelope adjusts her tiara, steeling herself to go back to invading the lives of perfect strangers.</p><p>Derek walks her back to her office, arm around her shoulders. She leans into him, his presence an always-welcome comfort. When they reach her office, he lets go of her. She pushes open the door, turning back to look at him.</p><p>“You should probably go,” she says, and he nods. Standing there before her, he looks so earnest, so gorgeous, like everything she’s ever wanted. In her mind’s eye, she sees a million futures with him, a million timelines where he loves her back. And it’s her birthday and she’s tired of wanting, so Penelope lets herself think for a moment that those futures might be possible.</p><p>She opens her mouth to say goodbye and that glimmer of hope intervenes.</p><p>What she means to say is <em> I love you </em>, the same words she’s uttered a million times to him. What comes out instead is: “I’m in love with you.”</p><p>Holy mother of all Freudian slips. She tries desperately to figure out what to say, but her mind goes blank. Her first instinct is to take it back, but her throat burns at the thought of having to pretend she doesn’t really love him.</p><p>A small part of her is relieved that it’s out in the open, but the rest of her wants to lock herself in her office for several days. Why did she have to go and fall in love with him in the first place? Why wasn’t she satisfied with what they had?</p><p>She swallows dryly, but doesn't say anything, watching Derek for his reaction. He’s staring at her, expression inscrutable. Penelope flushes, counting down the seconds until she’ll have to execute plan barricade-self-in-office. There’s only five seconds left on the clock when Derek makes his move.</p><p>“Penelope, I want to show you something.” Derek holds out his phone and she takes it, confused. Is he going to pretend that nothing happened? That’s somehow worse than anything he could say.</p><p>She turns on his phone, only to be met by the lock screen.</p><p>“What’s your password?” she asks, because she should probably say something at some point. She doesn’t quite register what she’s said until he responds.</p><p>“What do you think it is?”  he says, infinitely gentle.</p><p><em> Oh. </em>Penelope slowly types in her own birthday, not quite daring to believe that might be what he means. Sure enough, his phone unlocks, opening to reveal his background, a terrible selfie they had taken together.</p><p>With some difficulty, Penelope manages to compose herself. She swallows hard. “What… what was it you wanted to show me?”</p><p>He takes the phone back from her, holding it in front of her face. “This, Penelope. Don’t pretend you don’t know what it means.”</p><p>Penelope lets out an entirely undignified squeak. Here it is, the thing she’s always wanted. Proof that Derek loves her back romantically. Every plan she had for this moment, every grand gesture, flees her head completely, heading for the next galaxy over at warp speed. She reacts instinctively, stepping closer to him until only a few inches separate them. The point of no return is receding rapidly in the distance.</p><p>Derek puts his hand under her chin, tilting her face up. Penelope thinks there might be tears in her eyes, tries to blink them away before he can see them.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and she restrains herself from screaming ‘YES’ at the top of her lungs.</p><p>She whispers her agreement instead, almost reverently. </p><p>He kisses her, lightly, and Penelope swears she can feel actual stars forming in her eyes. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of, only her dreams could never measure up to reality, the way Derek pulls back slightly, running his thumb along her bottom lip before kissing her again.</p><p>This time, they break away only when air becomes a necessity. Penelope rests her head on his chest, delighting in the knowledge that if there are more more journeys to make, more challenges to conquer, she won’t be alone. Truth be told, she’s never been alone as long as she had him.</p><p>Above her, Derek lets out a startled, “Hey!”</p><p>Penelope looks up, following his gaze to where Emily is standing, holding up her own phone, streamers dangling from her other hand. When she notices them watching her, Emily gives them a wave.</p><p>“Sorry!” she says, not sounding sorry at all. “I need proof for the pool.”</p><p>Usually, Penelope would march over and make Emily delete those photos, but today, she couldn’t care less. Instead, she leans up to Derek, grin so broad it could split her face in two, and pulls him in for another kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come scream with me about god-given solaces on <a href="https://ellegreenawy.tumblr.com">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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